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Smiles

Submitted by Unknown

Cast of Characters: VICKI, an unhappy rich woman, sits impatiently on a bus stop bench. MIKE, a homeless man, sits down next to her with a big smile on his face.

VICKI: What are you smiling for?
MIKE: It's what I do.
VICKI: I won't ask.
MIKE: I sell smiles for a living.
VICKI: I'm not interested.
MIKE: Here, have a free one - on me.   (He smiles at her.)
VICKI: No thank you.
MIKE: Sorry, can't take it back. You'll have to give it to someone else.
VICKI: What?
MIKE: The smile. You'll have to give it away if you don't want it. Or sell it if you like - apparently it hasn't been used much.
VICKI: What do you mean by that?
MIKE: You don't smile very often, do you?
VICKI: So what if I don't?
MIKE: Shouldn't waste your smile...there's plenty of people who could use one.
VICKI: Well they can have mine.
MIKE: Your what?
VICKI: My smile.
MIKE: I don't see one.
VICKI: I thought you just gave me one.
MIKE: I tried, but it didn't stick. I think it bounced right off.
VICKI: Fine. What's there to smile about anyway?
MIKE: Well--
VICKI: You don't have to answer that.
MIKE: There's lots of things to smile about. It's a beautiful day outside; the buses are running on time...
VICKI: I don't want to hear about it.
MIKE: ...and look at that flower over there, now that would make anybody smile...
VICKI: Would you leave me alone! (a long moment of silence. Finally, she gives in.)
VICKI: So what's the going rate on smiles these days?
MIKE: Pardon me?
VICKI: Your smiles...how much are they?
MIKE: Oh, they're very expensive.
VICKI: So's my taste.
MIKE: You probably couldn't afford one.
VICKI: Try me.
MIKE: I'm warning...it'll cost you.
VICKI: Yes, I know, HOW MUCH?
MIKE: One smile.
VICKI: One smile?
MIKE: That's how much they cost.
VICKI: What?
MIKE: The price for a smile is exactly one smile. That's the going rate.
(She thinks about it)
VICKI: Alright. (smiles) I'll take one.
MIKE: It was a pleasure doing business with you.  (he leaves)

(Daisy, a streetwalker, sits down next to her.)
DAISY: What's with the smile?
VICKI: I sell smiles for a living...

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